The Secrets of Real Happiness

As mentioned in my previous post What Is Real Happiness, there are paradoxes surrounding wealth and happiness, which drive everyone to its pursuit. The reality is, there are sufficient evidences to show a significant disconnect between wealth and well-being.

Based on the research findings, you will know that happiness can be elusive and yet attainable.

The following are suggestions on how you can increase your happiness:

Realize That Wealth Does Not Create Permanent Happiness. People adapt to changing circumstances—even to wealth or a disability. Thus wealth is like health: Its utter absence breeds misery, but having it (or any circumstance we long for) doesn't guarantee happiness.

- "The mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquillity. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it."

- Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759


Be Your Own Time Master. Happy people are master of time management, and hence often feel in control of their lives. It helps to set goals and break them into daily aims. Although we often overestimate how much we will accomplish in any given day (leaving us frustrated), we generally underestimate how much we can accomplish in a year, given just a little progress every day.

Be Happy, Even Deliberately. We can deliberately put ourselves into a frame of mind by starting it with physical action. When you feel moody, look at the mirror and put on a bright smile to yourself. It ignites the energy of joyful emotion, which makes you feel better and trigger subsequent positive moods. When you meet people outside, your energy can be felt by people and brings forth mutually contagious effect. So put on a happy face. Talk like someone with high self-esteem, optimistic, and outgoing. Once you go through the motions, it can trigger the emotions. As Mary Kay said: “Fake it until you make it”

Align Work with Passion. As mentioned in my previous post Experiencing Flow State, happy people often are in a psychological state called “in the zone” called "in the flow" – when one is completely absorbed in a task that challenges them yet without overwhelming them. Most of the expensive forms of leisure (such as sitting on a yacht) provide less flow experience than gardening, playing musical instruments, painting, keeping fish, socializing, or craftwork.

Be Physically Active. It has become a known fact the exercise not only promotes health and energy, it is also an antidote for mild depression and anxiety. Go for gym, jogging, swimming, yoga, aerobics, Pilates, and anything that works your body and gets you perspiring. Sound minds reside in sound bodies. Read my post “Why I Wake Up At 6 am Every Morning” on my experiences benefiting from daily morning run.

Have Enough Rest. Happy people live active vigorous lives yet reserve time for renewing sleep and solitude. Many people suffer from sleep deficiency, with resulting fatigue, diminished alertness, and gloomy moods. If insomnia is the cause, try to restore balance in life, exercise regularly, have proper diet, get a massage, practice yoga and meditation.

Give Priority to Close Relationships. Intimate friendships with those who care deeply about you can help you weather difficult times. Confiding is good for soul and body. Resolve to nurture your closest relationships: to not take those closest to you for granted, to display to them the sort of kindness that you display to others, to affirm them, to play together and share together.

Focus Beyond Self. Reach out to those in need. Happiness increases helpfulness (those who feel good do good). As true as the saying “what goes around comes around”, doing good also makes one feel good. Being opened to the needs of surrounding people also help you avoid dwelling in your own misery.

Be Grateful. People who keep a gratitude journal—who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, senses, natural surroundings, and so on.) experience heightened well-being.

- "I cried because I had no shoes," states a Persian saying, "until I met a man who had no feet."

Learn Not To Compare. Most of the misery of people comes from comparing with others who are better or have more. This is the definite source of discontent and a perpetual sense of lack. It may continue to drive you to achieve more, but for the wrong reasons. It is like the rat on the treadmill, constantly chasing its tail until exhaustion. It puts a person on over-drive without any sense of fulfillment. If there is any happiness from achieving, it is often fleeting. When you stop comparing with others, you get started on the path of freedom.

- "Our poverty became a reality. Not because of our having less, but by our neighbors having more."
- Will Campbell, Brother to a Dragonfly, 1977

Nurture Your Spiritual Self. For many people, faith provides a support community, a reason to focus beyond self, and a sense of purpose and hope. Study after study finds that actively religious people are happier and that they cope better with crises.

May you live a life of pure and permanent happiness!

The Secrets of Real Happiness
by: Jordan Cheng